29 · non-binary (they/them) · neurodiverse · spoonie · queer femme · NSO & trainee zebra · polyamorous · burned-out activist · geek.

♥ coffee ♥ roller derby ♥ photography ♥ knitting ♥ exploring ♥ creating ♥

tajasel: Katie, with a purple wig on. (Default)
[personal profile] tajasel
Last updated: July 2015

1. How can I tell if you're angry?
I rant. Long sentences, fuming, lots of capital letters, you get the idea. I get quite animated, both in person and online.

2. How should I behave around you if you're angry?
Listen to me rant, offer hugs, offer solutions to the actual problem if you have them. If you don't know what to say, that's fine: just listening will work too. Silence is OK, really; I'd rather that than nervous rambling.

3. How do you want me to behave when you are hurting emotionally? How is it best to comfort you?
Don't say "I'm sorry" unless you're the reason I'm upset, and even then only if you're truly sorry (and don't expect me to say "it's okay" because that's what humans do. I won't, unless it is.) Maybe offer hugs (and whilst affection is like oxygen to me, don't be offended if I say no. And do remember that I might want one later.)

4. Are there things we should not discuss?
No, as long as you listen to my opinions and argue fairly, I respect your right to disagree with me. That's what makes the world interesting. (Unless you're a homophobe, sexist, racist, fascist, or bigoted in some other way, in which case you should probably just not talk to me at all.)

5. How should I treat you when you are ill?
I very rarely get really properly ill, but I'm often run down with low energy and I get debilitating headaches and joint pain reasonably often, caused by ME/CFS. I also have ADHD, which isn't an illness as such but definitely if I'm trying to concentrate on anything late at night after meds have worn off, I can be a little grouchy - treat with caution!
(Related: I also have asthma, for which I usually an inhaler (salbutamol), and I have a latex allergy.)

6. What makes you happy that's in my power to grant you?
Good coffee, time to sit down and read, cuddles, nice food, affection.

7. How would you like us to recognise your birthday?
I'm not a fan of cards, but I like new shiny things; who doesn't? Have a wishlist link. (My birthday is August 4th.)

8. Are there any standing categories of presents that would be appropriate or unwelcome?
Appropriate: coffee (especially nutty and chocolatey blends), Amazon and Etsy giftcards, rolls of interesting 35mm film.
Unwelcome: actual chocolate, flowers.

9. Are there times of the year that are difficult for you? Please explain if you are comfortable.
March 1st is the anniversary of my stepfather's death; I also dislike the fuss made around father's day for obvious reasons.

10. Are there important anniversaries in your life?
Other than the one mentioned in the previous question, nope.

11. How do I cater for you if you are visiting me?
Fruit, vegetables, eggs, pasta, potatoes, grains, beans. Semi-skimmed milk, diet soda, coffee. I'm vegetarian, though I will eat things with gelatin and rennet in them. I can provide 1kcal spray for dry-frying food; otherwise, grilled/baked/boiled/pinged is fine.

12. If I want to contact you, how should I do it?
My offline contact details are filtered; my IM details are on my profile page.

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